Don't Cry For Her, She's Okay - a Poem by my Sister, a Survivor.

She was a young teenage girl with a successful life ahead,

Until she met this guy and ran with him instead.

He led her into his lies and took her life away,

Made her do as he said or he'd promise to hurt her someday.

One day his promise came true, he punched her in the face,

Backed her in a corner and stole away her grace.

That was the final straw for her, she finally got the nerve to leave.

But now, she's got a piece of him that she can not believe...

So, she went to tell him he's a dad and he said he didn't care.

So she went on all alone in hopes one day he would be there.

Now almost two years later he's never acknowledged her,

But somehow that's not surprising because she predicted this to occur.

By,

    Stephanie Hartman-Mackynen

I wrote this when Destiny was a little over one years old. Her father raped me not only once, but several times in the seven months I was in Arizona. Not only did I endure all that, I was also physically abused. He kicked the crap out of me daily. When I discovered I was pregnant, I didn't know what to do. I was afraid to tell anyone. I explored options that I do not agree with, but in the circumstance I was in I had to look at every available option. Thirteen years later, my daughter is a wonderfully talented young lady. I have days where I look at her and all I see is him and it is hard. I flash back to the horrible memories I have tried to erase. For years, I didn't tell a sole about what happened and to this day only a few people know the whole story. Some details do not need to be said, but just enough so those can understand what happened. I was a typical 16 year old girl when I met this jerk. I got caught up in the moment and took off to Arizona with him. What a mistake, because that is when the hell started. I hid that pain I endured for years... The best way to begin the healing process is to talk. I am not as brave as you (Melody) and doing what you are doing with this blog and all. I couldn't be any prouder of who you are and how you stand up for what you believe in. I commend you, love you, and wish you all the best with everything you do in life. Making others aware of RAPE is powerful. So many young people don't fully understand the subject and what is classified as rape. Like you said, anything after the word "no" is exactly that, rape. I hope that your words reach those who need the inspiration to open up and begin to heal...

Thank you so much for this, it definitely took a lot of strength to share this and I hope you know by sharing this you're  giving other survivors a sense of comfort knowing they're not the only ones and also showing that it's okay to speak up.

Thank you for being proud of me, I'm just doing the best I can to change the worlds view on rape. I love you big sis :)

  Poetry is an amazing thing that helps survivors work through the overwhelming emotions we all have as Stephanie has shown with her poem. Writing songs is also another helpful thing, as well as painting/drawing. 

XOXO

A Message From an Amazing Supporter!

I had sent out a few messages via Facebook to inform people of Rape Victims Rights Movement.
I got a response from an amazing man who had lost his son and is the author of "A Child Died, A Father Cried"

Here's what he had to say about RVRM!

"Melody/all---I think this is a great way to speak forth the truth while helping others at the very same time. There is healing in the truth being told, abuse stopping for the victims and others...and sharing (like your blog) while helping others. I will be praying for you as you share with others so unselfishly. That is love."

This message truly made my heart swell, I love when people encourage and support this movement, it reminds me over and over again that YES this is something that should be talked about openly and LOUDLY so everyone can be informed and never ever keep us quiet!


XOXO

Any questions you want help with? Or a Topic you want me to cover?

If you have any questions you want me to make a post about and answer, let me know! Is their a topic you want me to make a post about? I'll do it. All you have to do is e-mail me at melrose81392@gmail.com
 And no worries, if you'd like me to keep your name private, just tell me, and I will.
I'm all about creating a safe and healthy environment here.

XOXO

Here's a song I heard & Thought of You All!

I heard this song on a commercial and immediately went online to see who did it and I found the video :)  It made me think of myself and all of you, enjoy XOXO

Be OK - Ingrid Michealson on YouTube

Here's the lyrics in case you aren't able to watch the video right now!

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today

Open me up and you will see
I'm a gallery of broken hearts
I'm beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts

I just want to know today, know today, know today
I just want to know something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok

Just give me back my pieces
Just give them back to me please
Just give me back my pieces
And let me hold my broken parts

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok
Know that maybe I will be ok

Looks like I've been blocking...Time to hop back on the road to RECOVERY!

Dear fellow survivors and supporters :),
 It's been a while since I've updated the blog or said anything. Life's been busy with work and friends. It's also been too busy to really focus on recovering. It's weird, it's like life does not stop for you to recover and work on yourself but you have to if you want to be sane. Blocking is almost natural because what else can you do when you have work, school, friends, activities. But no more excuses, I need to hop back on the road to recovery. I'm thinking and there's tons of different ways to help yourself heal everyday. Even if it's just sitting down at night after a busy day and reflecting on how far you've come since it happened, how you reacted differently to things today than you would have right after your attack happened. Or if your attack recently happened sit down and reflect on how you've felt in certain places today or how you've reacted to things people have said or did different from before. Try to think why you've reacted or felt this way. Recognizing feels and emotions are majorly important. Once you recognize them, figure out where exactly they come from, they become super easy to understand so they don't feel so overwhelming because my God them things could drown me if I didn't learn how to recognize them.
  Just my thoughts of the night, hope you all are doing well XOXO

Tell the F.B.I. RAPE IS RAPE!

Please join me in signing this petition to tell the F.B.I. that rape is rape.

*WARNING - some of the things said below may trigger you, read with caution.

Each year, the FBI fails to count hundreds of thousands of rapes in its Uniform Crime Report (UCR)—even missing many rapes that are reported to police. That’s because for over 80 years, the FBI has been using the same fundamentally flawed definition of “forcible” rape: “The carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will” to track rape statistics in the UCR.

This excludes rapes involving forced anal sex and/or oral sex, vaginal or anal fisting, rape with an object (even if serious injuries result), rapes of men and transgender people and other injurious and degrading sexual assaults. Also, because the definition includes the word “forcibly,” police departments often interpret the rule (against UCR guidelines) as leaving out rapes of women with physical or mental disabilities and those who were unconscious or under the influence of drugs and alcohol.

Sign the petition on change.org now!

Tell the F.B.I. RAPE IS RAPE! Click to Sign

Tell Facebook: RAPE IS NO JOKE

I've copied and pasted this from msmagazine.com :

According to Facebook’s terms of service, users are not permitted to post content that is hateful, threatening or incites violence. But it appears that, in the minds of the Facebook powers-that-be, pages that encourage rapedon’t violate that rule.

For two months now, Facebook users have beencampaigning for the site to take down several “rape joke” pages. The titles of these pages include such gems as “Riding your girlfriend softly, cause you don’t want to wake her up” and “You know she’s playing hard to get when you’re chasing her down an alleyway.” Hundreds of Facebook users have reported the pages as Terms of Service violations, and a petition atChange.org (see below) demanding their removal has received over 130,000 signatures. But Facebook has yet to take action. Dozens of pages advocating rape or violence against women remain on the site, many with tens of thousands of fans.

The defenders of these pages say that we need to lighten up. Learn to take a joke. Feminists are, once again, being humorless. We are making mountains out of molehills when we become outraged by such trivial things as pro-rape Facebook pages.

According to statistics, 17.4 percent of women in the U.S. have survived a completed or attempted rape, and that figure would likely be higher if victims were not so often silent about their experiences. Yet we are not supposed to question what it means for us, as women, to live in a culture that dehumanizes us with acts of sexual assault (the vast majority of which are committed by men we know personally) and then dehumanizes us further by pointing and laughing at our victimization, belittling trauma with crude humor. This is the definition of rape culture: a society that upholds the conditions for sexual violence against women and treats this violence as an unchangeable norm.

Anyone who claims that a rape joke is just a joke does not understand how rape culture works. Just as racist jokes can only be found funny within a culture of racism, rape jokes could not exist outside of a culture of rape. When our society allows men to believe that having sex with a sleeping woman is not rape; that having sex with a girlfriend or previous sexual partner is never rape; that having sex with someone who is too intoxicated to consent or object is not rape; men are taught to feel entitled to these acts (and women are taught to accept them in silence). When our culture is casually permissive of sexual assault, it inevitably perpetuates more sexual assault.

It would be absurd, of course, to suggest that anyone goes out and commits assault as a direct reaction to a Facebook page. But in reducing sexual violence to nothing more than a joke, they reflect and perpetuate the idea that women are objects to be used for the sexual satisfaction of men. Countless seemingly small things work together to uphold that kind of pervasive misogyny.

It would be naïve to imagine that the removal of these pages will in and of itself end rape culture. But that doesn’t mean the appropriate response is to simply accept them. Daunting as the task may be, the only way to end rape culture is to confront it.

Facebook is certainly not responsible for the prevalence of sexual assault in our society. But those in a position of power at Facebook are responsible for the choice they make to either condone or condemn the use of sexual assault as humor. Silence, as the saying goes, is acceptance. And Facebook’s refusal to take sexual violence seriously is exactly the kind of complicit silence that rape culture thrives on.

Disgusting..........lets take action and sign the petition.

And though this post is aimed at sexual violence agaisnt females, let us NEVER forget, it's males to.
Pay close attention to the "rape culture" definition,  I always knew there was something wrong with America and the way certain things such as forced sex and used as jokes or to be taken lightly. We're living in a rape culture, this is alarming.